Trudeau Transformations  |  interpersonal communications consultants

December 2012

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Yes, now is that festive time of year most famous for warm family memories, relishing seasonal delicacies and, of course, stress. While many people look forward to the holidays, this time of year also invokes worry. Why? Honestly, there are so many reasons to develop tension, ranging from not-so-fun family dynamics, figuring out how to make time for both families (if you're married or divorced), wondering how to best relax and enjoy time together, or basic finances. However, no matter the reason you're stressing about the festive season, I have some good news for you.

November 2012

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Question:

I find that over the years I have become less giving in my relationship. Can you suggest some ways I can start reversing this trend?

Answer:

I appreciate your honest relationship inquiry because although it is not easy to admit, over time, many people tend to give less and ask more: Does "What have you done for me lately?" ring familiar? But the fact is, when we withhold

October 2012

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Are you haunted by ghosts of your past? Gaining freedom from our inner conflicts


Question:

Sometimes I feel so haunted by past failures. Things I now look back with regret and wish I had done differently. How do I get these ghosts to stop following me and R.I.P.?

Answer:

Great question! This is a very common problem that many people struggle with. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", the saying goes, but at the same time, the residue of the past can serve as the seed of destruction used by the untrained mind to systematically beat you down, slowly killing your enthusiasm to actualize your potential. Did that sound dark?

June 2012

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Head in the sand?


Question:

My boyfriend is drinking a lot. Sometimes he gets so drunk he doesn't come home and I get very scared. He says he's sorry and won't do it again. But it still happens. He seems to function well in many ways and says he drinks more when I pester him about it. He does not think he has a big problem. Should I just drop it?

Answer:

My question for you is: Can you just drop it? Yes, dropping it would ease the immediate conflict that comes when you bring up the topic however, can you really just put your head in the sand and hope the problem goes away?

April 2012

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QUESTION

I find my partner is too competitive with me. We work together and during meetings I notice her scrutinizing my decisions and behavior. She often makes judgmental comments as if she could do it better. In response to this I started being too critical of her at home. Do you think I should try to relocate and work somewhere else?

ANSWER

First I want to commend your willingness to make a change for improving your connection. When a relationship becomes dominated by competitive energy mixed with criticism and judgment it loses the fun factor, and we clearly don't have a good formula for satisfying love.

March 2012

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QUESTION

I have a hard time getting my kids involved in the household and helping out. They seem eager to receive but not enthused to give. Can you please suggest some tips on creating more team spirit in my family? Thank you!

ANSWER:

Feburary 2012

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QUESTION:

I'm having a challenge balancing my personal life with work. I come home from work stressed out with a million things on my mind; meanwhile my partner and kids are expecting my attention, which I fail to give them. I feel bad because I know I'm disappointing them. Any suggestions?

ANSWER:

January 2012

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QUESTION:

It's hard to admit it, but I'm in an unhealthy relationship. My partner belittles me regularly, puts me on edge and tries to control me in different ways. I'm very unhappy. Not only that, but I'm out of shape, feel unattractive and exhausted. I'm afraid no one else will want to be with me. What should I do? I feel so stuck.

ANSWER:

December 2011

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QUESTION:

The holidays are here. I just wish there was less tension in my relationship. We have a big house, lots of activity with our kids, high overhead and little time. Although we live in a beautiful house, we are hardly home to enjoy it. When we are together, we feel stressed out and unappreciated for the burden that we each bare, which fuels quite a bit of fighting. All the pressure is hurting our relationship. How do we get out of this pattern?

ANSWER:

November 2011

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QUESTION:

My 14-year-old child seems unmotivated about life and is pretty disconnected from the rest of the family. The only thing he looks forward to is playing video games, which he plays two to three hours a day. I am worried about him. Do you think these games are related to his "zoned-out" behavior?

ANSWER:

October 2011

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QUESTION:

My partner gives more affection to our pet than to me. It is hard to admit, but I actually feel a little jealous of our family pet. I honestly wish I could have the kind of affection that the pet gets. Why is my partner so generous with our pet and so closed off to me?

ANSWER

September 2011

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QUESTION:

I have noticed that my partner is generally more kind and helpful to other people than to me. In fact, he goes out of his way to be helpful to others. Why can't he just treat me with the same kindness that he shows everyone else? I don't want to feel so unimportant all the time. What should I do?

ANSWER:

August 2011

Click here to view the article... The Graceful Dance of Give and Take Do you remember being a kid and occasionally exclaiming, "But that's not fair"? And then getting the classic response, "Well, life's not always fair." Personally, I think a more complete truth would be: Life is very fair. Be patient and trust that everything balances out.

July 2011

Click here to view the article... The mind is fascinating and tricky: A master of generating illusion. It effortlessly produces thoughts, which create feelings that constitute a story so real it's taken to be "the truth." It is this "truth" that we often react to—perpetuating a certain reality. Thus our life experience, in terms of thoughts, feelings, and actions, is a mirror reflection of our mind. Certainly, undesirable circumstances occur in life—but afterward we can choose what to make of these moments.

June 2011

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QUESTION:

My wife and I have the desire to interact with other partners and go outside the marriage to fulfill fantasies. But at the same time, we are a little afraid. Should we do it or not?

ANSWER: